Identifying Personalities
February 13, 2017
I have never known for my friendliness and the so-called
basa basi, at least that’s what my friends said their first impressions were
when we were introduced for the first time. I’m used to being called sombong,
tengil, sok paten, to rese, but these are the things that we usually laugh
about together in a month or two when they got to know me a whole lot better.
But I am, to some extent, a very good judge of character, even when I am just
sitting there ignoring someone completely, my brain usually just processes
every single gestures and facial expression of that person.
Someone who I know has been interviewed student candidates
for some kind of exchange program for about a year, and guess in what desk:
personality. Actually I really love talking about personality, everything seems
interesting for me for some reason.
So how are you labelled by your friends? Nice or cruel?
Spirited or pessimistic? Egocentric or selfless? Self-centered or social? Fun
or boring? Or are you all of the above?
Personality is by far the most complex identity of a human
being, no theories or books have been able to explain scientifically why one
person has a type of personality while the others have another. In fact, no two
people are exactly the same in terms of their personality (not even identical
twins). While DNA, blood types, and fingerprints can be recognized and matched,
personality cannot be used as a definite way of identifying a human being.
But I do believe that personality is the true identity that
we associate a person with, a unique series of traits that only he or she
possesses. Every one of us has many personality traits, we can be both
egocentric and selfless or outgoing and reserved, but there’s always a genuine
trait that identifies who we are, something that radiates from within and
dominates our actions and behavior towards ourselves or others.
In our relationship with others, we do adapt and make some
adjustments to our behavior, sometimes even a little bit or far off from that
personality gene. For example, when going out with her friends, clubbing maybe,
this girl forces herself to be more outgoing, to dance around to the music like
the others, instead of following her deepest need to just sit in the corner and
listen to the music. Why? Well, let’s be honest to ourselves, however
uncomfortable we are of running away from our personality gene, we still have
the desire to be accepted by our peers. Adaptation.
Now I really need to ask this question: do we have to
pretend to be someone we’re not to be accepted? In adapting to our circle of
friends, do we have to be more like them instead of holding to our own true
identity? Do we have to be unfaithful to
our true personality just to be accepted by our peers? Do we choose to commit
what I now call as personality infidelity to be with the in crowd?
I think the answer lies in this one simple statement: you
are who you are. While nature requires us to adapt, it doesn’t mean that we
should lose our inner being and self-existence just to be like the others.
Adaptation means altering or modifying some of our behavior in an attempt not to
offend the people that we are closed to. Adaptation, however, doesn’t mean
changing ourselves altogether just to please others. That’s just plain
insecurity, that you think people would like you more if you change,
dramatically. Now, let me ask you another basic question: while it makes the
people around you happy, does it also make you happy?
People who know me, my closest friends even, would probably
just say that I’m overreacting, I’m being paranoid. Well, call me a chameleon,
a fake person, or whatever, even the closest person to me won’t have the
slightest idea what’s going on inside of me right now. I might appear cheerful,
outgoing, extremely extroverted (even my psychological profile says that I’m
unusually extroverted), but I’m actually a very private person (my most honest
moment is with God and God only). Does that mean that my outer image is
synthetic? That everything you know about me is just a false impression?
Well, I won’t go that far. It’s just that, there are some
things that I think I just have to keep to myself, sacred things that I won’t
think in a million years I would share with anybody. Why? I don’t know. I just
think that revealing them would definitely take me away from my comfort zone,
and I’m not ready to do that, at all. Why do I need to tell everyone and reveal
to the world that I am fucking sad or being a hot tempered mess?
Yeah, you might say I think too much.
Seize the day. That’s exactly what I had been doing in the
last few months. Enjoying the moments. Living for now. Treading water. I just
think that now my arms get tired of treading the water. I need to swim towards
something, anything. But I’m just floating, doggy-pedaling, wondering which way
to go. I’m clueless and lost, how worst can it get?
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